


Gold Digging Goldsworth

by chromission



Series: Catch Me If You Can [2]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: "sugar baby" lmaoooo, Alternate Universe - Criminals, Alternate Universe - Detectives, Buzzfeed Unsolved True Crime, Detective Noir, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mentions Of Infidelity, bfu au, buzzfeed unsolved au, mild violence, more mustaches, over use of the word "darling", shyan, the "wheeze" makes an appearance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 09:53:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14186328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chromission/pseuds/chromission
Summary: Through the wildest of circumstances, the universe has proved that it loves pushing C.C. Tinsley’s face in the dirt.Here, we find our favourite criminal jamming out to Madonna before finding himself putting he and Tinsley in some hot water.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Out of impulse, Tinsley grabs Ricky by the tie.“Careful, darling. This is Armani.”





	Gold Digging Goldsworth

**Author's Note:**

> pls be patient with the short flashback lmao thanks. I just want you to know what Tinsley’s life has been like lately.  
> Oh look at that, this got to over 2000 words. I thought it’d be shorter woops.
> 
> The song referenced here is [Material Girl by Madonna](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p-lDYPR2P8)

 

1995

Boston

14:21

 

C.C. Tinsley’s lethargic hands loosely rest on the stirring wheel as he reaches the stop light. He wipes a finger under his nose to get the drying blood off his skin.

He frowns when his eyes pick up movement on his right mirror. That’s when he spots a bright red convertible rolling up beside him. Tinsley winces upon hearing the loud beats emanating from the red vintage Cadillac through his windows. The booming music, though muffled, makes his head ache.

 

_Dear reader, do take my advice._

_Don’t drive with a concussion._

 

Tinsley tries his best to ignore the sound, thinking it would alleviate the pressure off his temples. His eyes stay glued to the red light before him and lets its glow reel him back to the events of the last few weeks.

 

_Our dear detective found himself in his superior’s office, looking like a child to be reprimanded by a principal._

_After his agency got word of his rogue attempt to catching Goldsworth, they decide to ship him off all over the country to scrub some meager cases._

_He had recently come back from working on a missing person’s case. The person of interest was an 83- year old woman, who had gone missing from her retirement home almost 4 weeks ago._

_He found her though,_

_in a resort in Cancun._

_There, he finds her living it up in a luxurious casino surrounded by shirtless waiters._

_Ever the genius that he is, he attempts to contact her while posing as a tourist. He decided to do so at night when she was on her way to the beach house by the shoreline._

_For emphasis, dear reader, C.C. Tinsley can occasionally be a genius._

_So naturally he proceeds to do so and ends up scaring her. His looming figure and gangly arms surrounded by the veil of the night resulted in a mortified senior swinging her handbag against his face, thus forcing his body to fall flat on his back onto the scratchy sand while cradling his broken nose._

_After the brief scuffle and several napkins rammed up his nostrils, Tinsley learns that the 83-year-old ran off to use up all her assets for an impulsive getaway._

_They come to an agreement that she is to return as soon as possible._

_On the day prior to her scheduled flight back to America, she went to bed content_

_and never woke up._

* * *

 

Tinsley's headache is just a reminder that he came back home empty handed and with a crooked nose.

 

A familiar voice of a man accompanying the song pulls him out of his reverie

 

“Cause we're living in a material world  
And I am a material girl  
You know that we are living in a material world  
And I am a material girl  
Living in a material world  
And I am a material girl”

 

Tinsley turns his head to get a proper look at the man in the red car. His head face returns to the road and whips back to his right for a double take. The pain in his head cease for a moment, letting him process what he sees properly.

Ricky Goldsworth sits on the pristine leather seat of the red Cadillac. He lightly sways to the music with one hand on the driver’s wheel. His shoulders alternately jut up in synch with the beat as he sings, all the while as Tinsley’s mouth hangs open like a petrified fish.

He takes in more details and sees that behind Goldsworth is a mountain of boutique bags threatening to spill over the car doors.  Ricky drives off, leaving Tinsley frozen before the green light. It takes a few seconds of cars incessantly honking Tinsley before he musters enough focus to put his foot on the accelerator.

* * *

 Tinsley manages to catch up to Ricky but opts to keep his distance. After a stop to Tom Ford and Givenchy, Ricky adds a few more bags to the pile in the back seat.  Not long after, Ricky pulls up to the front of the Boston Harbour Hotel and hops over the car’s door. He tosses the keys to the valet before running the lapels of his suit jacket between his fingers. Tinsley can’t help but admire how Ricky’s bespoke suit grips his figure.

Something warm slowly runs over the smudges of dried blood under Tinsley’s nose. He brushes it with the back of his thumb and looks down to see wet red on his skin. With a twitching eyelid, Tinsley watches a happy-go-lucky Ricky strutting through the entrance doors held out for him, all while whistling Madonna’s Material Girl.

* * *

In the next few hours, Tinsley discovers that a gala is to be held that night. Ever the optimist, albeit irrational, he puts that fake mustache in his brief case to good use.

* * *

With night, comes glamour extenuated by the dark. The orchestra’s music fills the hall adorned by chandeliers and in the middle of it all, Ricky stands close to an older woman. They share a few laughs with the elderly couple facing them. After a good few minutes of chatting, the woman beside Ricky hails down a server walking by.

Ricky continues telling his anecdote as his audience of three take drinks from the server’s tray.

“You look parched, sir. Care for some refreshments?”, the server politely interrupts.

“Oh, thank you” Ricky says without his eyes leaving the couple before him.

 

“Would you prefer the bottle then, sir?”

 

Ricky slightly scrunches his brows and quickly turns his head to the server to say “No, this is fine.” Ricky places the flute glass to his lips and turns his scrutinizing eyes to the server once more and chokes.

“Richard darling! Are you alright?”, the woman beside him asks.

Ricky covers his mouth with his wrist, as a mustached Tinsley watches him in amusement. Tinsley is tempted to twiddle with the tip of his whiskers.

“You’ll have to excuse me-“Ricky pardons himself, leaving his company dumbfounded.

“Richard, my boy. I do hope you finish your little story. I want to know what happens to the headless nun!” the old man hollers at Ricky as he navigates through the crowd.

* * *

Tinsley places his tray down on a table covered with au d’oeuvres and plucks a crab cake to pop into his mouth. He sees Ricky slip through a door in the corner of a room and promptly follows him.

Tinsley pushes through the door and rounds onto a corner where he is greeted by a splash of champagne to the face. He opens his eyes to see Ricky smirking with an empty flute glass in hand. Out of impulse, Tinsley grabs Ricky by the tie.

“Careful, darling. This is Armani.”

Tinsley furrows his brows and grips the fabric in his fists tighter. Ricky returns the gesture by lacing his hand around Tinsley’s wrist and pulling him closer. Quite frankly, Tinsley looked ridiculous and Ricky can’t help but examine the deformed caterpillar above Tinsley’s lips.

“Richard!?”

_Oh, isn’t that Richa- Ricky’s date?_

Ricky and Tinsley whip their heads to the source of the shriek.

“You’re cheating on me with the bellboy?!” she sounded positively livid.

“Waiter, actually” Tinsley interjects.

Ricky found himself wanting to laugh at that, but he turns his focus to the woman.

“Brenda, darling, you’re cheating on your husband with someone 29 years your junior” he motions his hand over his body for emphasis. “and besides-“

_Clink_

The sound of zipping metal interrupts Ricky.  He trains his eye to his raised hand and finds a handcuff on his right wrist. He juts an eyebrow at Tinsley and Tinsley does the same in return.

Brenda on the other hand is left confused.   

“Ma’am, your boytoy over here is in fact a wanted man” Tinsley says in a matter-of-factly voice, looking rather proud of himself.

“Boytoy?” Ricky mutters.

 

Several footsteps come rumbling behind Brenda and a loud gruff voice booms an exaggerated cough.

Tinsley, Ricky and Brenda turn to see a silver haired man surrounded by comical looking goons walking towards them.

“Harold?!” exclaims Brenda

“Ooooooh shit” Ricky drawls

Tinsley gives Ricky a questioning look.

“That’s her husband” Ricky sighs

 

“Oh you think I wouldn’t find out?” Harold sneers at Brenda, but all she does is scoff.

Harold turns to Ricky and zeroes in on his face.

“Get him boys!”

_Clink_

Tinsley feels cold metal around his left wrist and sees a cuff joining he and Ricky. A sense of panic shoots through Tinsley’s nerves. He gapes at Ricky who offers an ecstatic grin.

“We’re a package deal!” Ricky bellows.

Harold’s goons run towards them like charging bulls seeing red. Tinsley holds his hands out.

 “Wa-wait wait!”

The men surprisingly halt in their tracks. Tinsley uses his free hand to rip his mustache off with an audible wince.

There was an uneasy pause that allowed everyone to exchange confused looks.

“What are you doing?!” Ricky hisses to Tinsley.

“I’m a private investigator! And uhm” he fumbles to grab his badge from his back pocket to hold out.

“Hmm…a cop you say?” Harold starts “well, wouldn’t it be a shame if you just, oh I don’t know, disappeared?”

Tinsley momentarily forgets the fear and takes the liberty in correcting Harold.

“Uh, well no. Cops and P.I.s aren’t the same th-“  Harold’s men whip out batons from their belt. “Oh shit”

Tinsley feels a jolt in his arm and the next thing he knows is that he’s running through the halls of a five-star hotel with several henchmen waving batons at him while being handcuffed to a well dressed mad man.

It took a second for Tinsley to realize that Ricky was holding his hand, it distracted him enough to almost lose his footing.

They were coming up to a bellboy pushing a luggage cart into centre the of the hall. Ricky maneuvers himself and Tinsley around the baggage filled cart before pushing it over to block the men chasing them.

They hear a crash behind them. Tinsley looks back to see some of the men stumbling over the spilled luggage. Ricky laughs maniacally, though he didn’t get to turn and look at the mess he made. They make their way to the parking lot and hop into the red Cadillac. In their haste, Tinsley didn’t get to take a seat properly and is left with one leg hanging on the car door and the other dangling over the windshield. Ricky pulls a key out from a small dashboard compartment and starts the car. A series of shouts and gallops near them. The red convertible speeds out of the that lot and into the driveway.

 

“Oh god, I’m handcuffed to a lunatic in a stolen car” Tinsley yelps as he pulls his limbs into the confines of his space.

“It’d be a great story to tell during dinners though. And by the way, I didn’t steal this car.”

Tinsley pats down his pockets, trying to find the handcuff’s key. After failing to find it he pinches the bridge of his nose and Ricky lets out another boisterous laugh.

“Where are we going?” Tinsley asks

“Hmmm I dunno.”

Ricky’s voice did sound genuinely curious. After a moment of silence, Tinsley fidgets in his seat but he keeps his cuffed hand glued in place.

“Yenno, I do have to turn you in.”

“Of course, you are.” Ricky says as if to confirm it, for there was no trace of sarcasm in the way he spoke.

Tinsley is intrigued by the response but chooses not to say anything. He spots something beside his foot and bends down to pick it up. It’s a small black shopping bag with silk handles. Inside, is a small black box with ‘BVLGARI’ embossed on its surface. Tinsley prise the lid off to reveal a black and silver watch. He lifts it out of its case and circles his thumb around its window.

“You can have it, if you want.”

Tinsley turns to see Ricky wearing a soft smile with eyes lazily fixed on the road.

“Buddy I ain’t taking a stolen watch” Tinsley scoffs as he places the watch back into its box

“What if it wasn’t stolen?”

“What are you tryi-“

“Hey man, that lady Brenda gave it to me”

Tinsley tries to get a “What?” out, but snickers instead. He bows his head down and turns to the side opposite of Ricky and snorts louder. “Oh my god-“ he practically chokes “oh this- this is fantastic. You were a su-sugar baby?” He’s covering his face now to hide his grin.

“Pff- yeah!” Ricky wheezes, realizing how funny it sounded, coming from Tinsley’s mouth.

After a good few minutes of hysterics, they finally quiet down into giggles. Tinsley begins to feel conscious of their hands rubbing together and composes himself.

“Hey, this was just a bonus” Ricky gestures his hand to the dashboard and the bag Tinsley was holding.

Ricky reveals that Harold is an exotic animals dealer and getting information on his business would prove to be a more valuable asset than the “little” gifts Brenda showers him with.

  _Hmmm I gotta look into that_ , Tinsley thought.

Tinsley processes all that Ricky had told him before muttering something under his breath and chuckling.

“What?” Ricky asks when he sees Tinsley’s shoulders bouncing from laughter.

“ _Gold-digging-Goldsworth”_ Tinsley struggles to get out. He leans back and slaps a hand on his chest and wheezes.

Ricky briefly rests his forehead on the steering wheel, “Oh my god! This is what you got out of all that?”

It then escalates to full blown, spleen-rupturing, lung-busting gagging.

This time, they fall into comfortable silence.

Tinsley isn’t sure what to do now, but he indulges himself to let his mind go blank and appreciate the feeling of wind in his hair. He fully leans his head back on the head rest and notices that his nose has completely stopped bleeding.

Tinsley’s eyes go to the dashboard. He lifts the hand cuffed to Ricky and turns the stereo on. It whirs before a familiar tune starts.

“Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me. I think they're okay~”

Tinsley doesn’t even bother to sing on key. He continues as he places his elbow over the car window and taps on the door along to the beat. The absurdity of the situation pushes him to sing louder

“If they don't give me proper credit, I just walk away  
They can beg and they can plead  
But they can't see the light, that's right~”

Ricky smiles and joins in.

“Cause the boy with the cold hard cash is always Mister Right~”

 

 

 

 

_-To be continued-_

**Author's Note:**

> ey I had fun writing this! Tell me what you guys think.


End file.
